How to be confident when out socializing or dancing….without alcohol…ever!
Are you nervous when it comes to dancing in public? Does it scare you stiff? You are not alone. Being able to dance (especially without alcohol or substances) can be a daunting/scary experience. It doesn’t have to be. Dance is very personal, and sometimes it just needs a shift in perspective in order to gain that little bit more confidence. Here are some tips that will hopefully help. I would love to hear your comments, suggestions and/or your own dance experiences/victories – so just leave a comment below.
Tip 1: Alcohol makes you less coordinated
The chances are what you think looks good, doesn’t when you have consumed alcohol. Ever heard of the term “Beer Goggles”. Your judgement IS affected when it comes to alcohol and that includes dancing. Alcohol allows you to not care…so make the choice WITHOUT alcohol to not care about what people think about you or your dancing.
Tip 2: Focus on the music
This will allow you to not think about fears. If you are 100% listening to the music then you WILL NOT be focusing on other people. If you catch yourself being aware of people watching, then at that moment, you are not focusing on the music
Tip 3: Go someplace where you actually enjoy the music they are playing
This will help a lot as then you the above steps will become a lot easier. If you do not like the music the chances are high that you will be focusing on other things (like people watching you, and not focusing on the music)
Tip 4: Don’t look at people in the eyes
If you happen to catch the eye of someone who is insecure, or jealous of your dancing or anything it can be off putting. Also looks can be deceiving as someone may be looking at you in an angry way but they might not be angry at all. I found that staring at the gaps in between people gave the impression of confidence but helped as I didn’t have to look at…anyone! I remember dancing away and suddenly catching someone’s eye – this got my brain ticking “I wonder what they were thinking”, or “they seemed…” I don’t want my brain to tick, I want to focus on and enjoy the music.
Tip 5: Go out with real friends
Real friends will support you in what you try to do. Superficial friends will not encourage you, they will discourage you. If you tell your “friends” that “tonight I am going to try and dance on the dance floor…with no alcohol”, your friends should support and encourage that decision. Dancing is a very personal activity, and is easily off putting if the people around you are not encouraging you. From my experience those that do not encourage you do not have your best interests at heart, and are most likely not real friends. People who make fun of you dancing are 99% the ones who are jealous and would like to have that same confidence you have. Don’t be fooled by people who laugh or poke fun. They are usually unhappy people, or pressured by their own circumstances. When I first started teaching a dance class at my university there were a group of 4 boys (20 years old), and they would open the studio door together and shout thing sin at the students and it would make everyone feel insecure and horrible. They had a horrible presence about them and would be the loudest ones around. You always knew when they were about and they would receive false smiles from people, just so they didn’t become victims of their fun making. Well, I ended up bumping into each of these boys individually, and each time I confronted them about them terrorising our students and making them feel uncomfortable – their response? “I’m sorry Rob. Actually, I would love to go to your class but you know what the other boys would say”. I was astounded. They each said pretty much the same thing. They were putting up a façade just to impress each other but deep down they all wanted that confidence to learn dance. They did not have the confidence to dance in front of other people so they chose to make fun as a defence mechanism. This is huge, as it gave me and those I teach confidence that when people laugh or make fun, the reasons are not what they at first seem.
Tip 6: Practice dancing around the house or whenever
Don’t just limit dancing to the dance floor. When you are at home (alone or with people) have some music on in the background and every now and again do a few small steps or moves, and practice your confidence. This will get your body used to “moving” and start creating the habit of dancing when you hear music. The longer you stand still without dancing (in a club) the more likely you will turn to stone. If you go to a club or social gathering and just stand there, the chances are that you will do just that stand there. I have often been the first one on the dance floor and by doing that I gave people confidence to do the same. People are often shy (even the ones who don’t seem shy) and have confidence in knowing that when you try and dance, others will want to do the same.
Tip 7: Go out with a dancing partner
Can be the same sex or opposite sex, but someone who is on the same page as you with your dancing journey. It is much better then to share your experiences.
I hope that helps. Let us know your thoughts on this and if there are any tips you can share that will helps others – leave your comments below.
About the Author
Rob is the owner of Street Styles 4 All (SS4A), married to his wife Chloe. Follows Jesus (not on twitter), runs a Street Dance school. Rob also known as "Smoove Groove" runs the online courses at SS4A and is passionate Street Dance and about teaching Street Dance.